Mosiah 4:26

26 And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.

So, if I impart of my substance to the poor, I'm not "getting ahead" and qualifying for extra blessings, as much as I am retaining a remission of my sins - or climbing back up to level ground? That's a new concept to me! Wait, what is level ground exactly? Aren't we always climbing and adding oil to our lamps? Oh wait again - RETAINING A REMISSION OF MY SINS IS HUGE! What a wonderful blessing!

All this time I thought the more I gave, the more I could feel comfortable asking for what I need- as though somewhere a "pay back" was due. But, if I'm understanding King Benjamin, we are never ahead, but we are always in a state of “paying back” the Lord for what He has already done for us and we'll always be in a state of climbing to God. We will never get to state of "now we're even" and certainly never to a state of "I did this, so... to reward me for it, you can do this please," we are never ahead. (Yikes, I cringe to even write that last sentence!)

So, I have given a lot lately, hoping to qualify for needed blessings. I still believe that works, and is good, but my petitions will now be different. I will thank Him for the blessing of the opportunity to give, (for which a blessing is immediately received) because I love the Lord, (not because I need a blessing,) and I'll ask for my needs in faith.

So much to learn! And try. And hopefully become.